Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
