I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
