I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
