Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
