all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
