I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
