just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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