His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
