1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
should my penis look like a turkey
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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