Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
