at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
