Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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