there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
