You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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