dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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