So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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