he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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