It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
