he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
