My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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