Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
tell your sister to shave her snatch
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
