we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
