I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
