He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So. Much. Porn.
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