so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
