This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize