I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
