So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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