i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My balls are so social today.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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