What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
