Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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