I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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