You made me cry and you don't even care
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
