Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
