I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
