FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
