No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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