shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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