why didn't you poke me back
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
