you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
