Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
