Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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