I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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