my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
