look no pants
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Who died my cat blue again?
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