just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
