i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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