Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
