Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
