Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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