i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
