I'm really into asian looking animals
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
