But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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