don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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