I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
