$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize