Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
