It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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