So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
