and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
