bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
