I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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