She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
