So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
