if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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