Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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