Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
