So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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