He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
