I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
