FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i need some magic done to my vagina
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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