Porn is love you can see.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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