Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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