id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
