She is in my trunk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
