How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
