Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
