i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you inspire me to be a worse person
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
